


Erase Me And Paint Me Black

by in_the_bottle



Series: Can't Go Back [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 07:23:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3166346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_the_bottle/pseuds/in_the_bottle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last thing Tony remembered was heading home after a party with a Victoria Secret model.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Erase Me And Paint Me Black

**Author's Note:**

> I can't remember where this one came from, probably due to severe boredom after 6 weeks off work. This fic was actually finished before Road For Home, but after I finished it, I realised it really wouldn't work without a proper backstory, and I really couldn't incorporate 45k worth of backstory into this, not even in a summary form. So yeah...
> 
> Thanks to [](http://lefaym.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**lefaym**](http://lefaym.dreamwidth.org/) for betaing! And [](http://johanirae.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://johanirae.livejournal.com/)**johanirae** for a quick first read through.
> 
> See end note for possible warning.

The sight that greeted Tony Stark when he opened his eyes was not what he had expected. Nor was the jackhammer that was pounding its way through to Australia via Tony's head. Tony was pretty sure the glass of champagne and a couple shots of scotch he had the night before was far from enough to induce such agony. The bright light that seemed to be coming from every direction for the sole purpose of shining straight into his retina.

"Jarvis?" Tony called out. Or rather, croaked out, barely above a whisper. His throat felt as though it hadn't come in contact with any form of liquid for weeks.

"Its too bright," a soft male voice from the left of Tony said. The guy had a British accent that was similar to Jarvis's but it definitely wasn't Jarvis. The lights in the room immediately dimmed to a more acceptable level.

Someone else on the other side of Tony's bed was attempting to get Tony to sit up a little.

"Drink," the other person, female, held a cup to Tony's lips after he was finally in a somewhat upright position. Tony was surprised at how weak he was feeling. Just what the hell happened after that party last night? The reddish liquid in the cup smelled like one of those healthy fruity teas Pepper was always trying to get him to drink.

Tony was tempted to object just to be contrary, but his mouth and throat felt too parched for him to argue. He attempted to lift his hands to hold the cup himself, but found that he could barely move them from underneath the bed covers. The edge of the cup touched his lips and the feeling of cool liquid on his dry lips made Tony forget his objections about being treated like an infant.

"Slowly," the same female voice chided Tony. The cup being pulled away as he took a sip that was somehow deemed too much. Getting a better look at the woman, Tony noticed her blue eyes, and shoulder length wavy red hair which framed her face nicely.

Soon enough, Tony managed to finish the rather small cup of whatever it was he was drinking. His throat was definitely feeling less like he had swallowed a whole pack of razor blades, and he sighed in relief. Slowly, he took in the sight of the room. It was illuminated by torches, actual flame torches like on the set of some Indiana Jones movie. On the far-side of the room, there was a wall of curtains to what must be some big ass windows. Tony realised the brightness from earlier must have been from the sun light coming through the windows, not the medieval flame torches.

Well, it was definitely _not_ his room.

And the pale, dark haired guy hovering beside him was definitely not the blond Victoria Secret model with legs a mile long. Though from what Tony could see, the guy's legs could give Isa's (or was it Isabel? Something that started with an 'I' anyway) some competition.

"Anthony?" Legs asked, coming closer. The level of concern in his voice surprised Tony. Did he know the guy? It couldn't be, Tony would never forget someone like Legs. The way he said Tony's name in full, no one else had called him Anthony since his mother died, but for some reason, coming from Legs, it sounded almost natural.

"Where am I?" was the question Tony finally decided on asking.

Legs frowned. "Do you not recognise the healing halls of Asgard?"

The what of what? Or was that supposed to be the what of where? Tony's brain was still trying to come up with some sort of explanation that didn't involve copious amount of alcohol and/or probably hallucinogenic drugs. Pepper was _so_ going to skin him alive.

"Who are you?" Tony asked the second question.

The sudden drain of colour from Legs' already pale complexion was quite a sight.

"Healer Eydis?" Legs called out, but it was unnecessary since the red head, Healer Eydis, apparently, hadn't actually left Tony's side. She reached out and pressed something out of Tony's sight, next thing Tony knew, he was looking at a detailed holographic projection of what he could only assume was a scan of his insides.

Medieval torches and futuristic holographic display. Just what the fuck was going on?

Healer Eydis reached out and manipulated the hologram, focusing the scan on Tony's head, where a number of areas were lit up in bright ominous looking red. Tony stared at the display of his brain and tried not to panic.

"Your Highness," Healer Eydis started.

"Yes, I see it," Legs replied before the healer could finish. The expression on his face did nothing to reassure Tony.

Your Highness? If Tony hadn't experienced first-hand how weak he was feeling, he probably would have gotten out of the bed and demanded some answers, or just get the hell out. But the headache had barely receded enough for him to even think straight and he doubt he could even stand when he couldn't even hold the cup earlier. Getting out of bed was probably an incredibly stupid idea, even for him.

"Tony," said Legs, using his preferred name this time. As he spoke, he turned his attention away from the scan and back to Tony. "What's the last thing you remember?"

That was easy. "There was a party, there was this blond chick, Victoria Secret model with legs that go on forever," Tony started.

"Of course there was," Legs muttered, sounding a bit like Pepper whenever she was exasperated with Tony. Tony wasn't sure if he was just projecting his own experience with Pepper, or there was really also a hint of fondness coming off Legs. "Do you remember the date?"

"Friday the 13th, I remember that cos hey, Friday the 13th," Tony replied.

"Month? Year?" Legs pressed on for the details.

"June 2008," Tony answered, a sinking feeling in his stomach. This was starting to feel like one of those movies where the main protagonist got into some accident and slip into a coma, only to wake up 20 years later. That would certainly explain the advance holographic technology.

Legs looked like someone had just murdered his puppy in front of him when he heard Tony's answer. He waved his hand through the holographic display and turned it off without seeming to touch any form of control switch.

"What is going on? Where am I and who the hell are you people?" Tony demanded, panic definitely starting to set in.

"Tony," Legs started to say, but Tony didn't let him finish.

"You say my name like you know me personally and not just from the papers, but I've never met any of you before in my life! What the fuck is going on?!"

Legs looked as though Tony had punched him in the face at Tony's outburst, he took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself. "Tony," he started once more. "It's August 2014."

Tony's first instinct was to look for some hidden camera somewhere. For people to jump out from behind the curtains or something going 'You've been punk'd!', but none of that happened.

"Okay, this isn't funny," Tony finally managed after what seemed like forever. "Did Pepper put you up to this? The medieval torch is a nice touch, but if this is a joke, I'm not laughing."

"No, its not remotely funny," Legs replied. "This is not some elaborate prank and Pepper did not put me up to anything." He took a deep breath before continuing. "You were... injured in an incident and have been in a coma for the last two weeks. It appears your injuries have affected your memory as well, which is something none of us had anticipated."

"Your Highness," Healer Eydis chimed in. "Given the nature of Lo....Mister Stark's injuries," Tony had a feeling the healer was on the verge of addressing him as something else, was Tony now also some sort of royalty? How does that even work? "I do not think it is wise to disclose too much information as it might hamper the recovery of the memories affected."

"Wait a minute," Tony said, struggling to sit up a little straighter on the bed. Legs was by his side in an instant, assisting him. The helping hand on his shoulder somehow seemed to calm Tony down just a little. Just what the fuck was going on? How could a touch from someone who was practically a stranger have such an effect on Tony? "If I really did lose six years of my memories, which I'm still not convinced that I have, you don't think that its a good idea to tell me about what happened?"

"Without knowing the precise reason why your memories have been affected, prompting you to remember might do more harm than good," Eydis replied. Her confidence, posture and probably her red hair as well, was reminding Tony terribly of Pepper.

"Where's Pepper? If I've been in a coma for two weeks, I don't believe for one second she wouldn't be the first one through the door once I'm awake, and Obie would also be right next to Pepper. "You," Tony looked pointedly at Legs. "Who _are_ you? You act like you know me, and 'Your Highness'? Since when am I on such good terms with royalty?"

"Healer Eydis," while Legs was addressing the healer, his eyes were on Tony. There was something in his gaze, his startling green eyes, as he stared at Tony that made Tony's breath catch. "I don't think disclosing some basic information to convince Anthony that we speak the truth would be harmful?" Legs finally turned to look at Eydis.

There was a bit of a pause where Eydis activated another holographic interface of some sort, this time a smaller display. "Only as much as necessary to convince Mister Stark the reality of the situation. I am uncertain of the effects otherwise." Eydis turned off the smaller display. "If you will excuse me, I need to examine Mister Stark's results and consult Lady Eir to determine the best way to proceed henceforth."

Legs nodded to Eydis who gave a quick bow and exited the room, leaving Tony and Legs alone.

"My name is Loki," Legs, Loki, finally said. "I'm a Prince of Asgard."

Tony blinked. "You're the God of Mischief from a mythical land of the ancient Nordic religion?"

"In a sense," Legs replied. "What I am about to tell you would sound fantastical in many aspect, but Anthony, I can assure you that it is the truth."

There it was again. Every time Loki spoke his name, there was just... something that Tony couldn't put his hands on. It sounded almost familiar, but how could it be, when he had no memory of the man standing before him?

"A lot has happened in your life in the last six years," Loki continued. "But the main thing you need to know now is that Asgard is real. The Nordic legends and myths are also largely true. Pepper is not here because you're on Asgard, not Earth."

Loki stopped at this point, and Tony could only stare at him as he tries to actually comprehend what Loki was saying. It shouldn't be that hard, Tony was a genius after all, yet... Not Earth, that was the key, wasn't it?

"Nordic gods are aliens," Tony finally managed. "You're an alien, and I'm on an alien planet with advanced alien technology," Tony concluded. "Yet somehow medieval flame torch is still a thing."

As he made that final comment, Tony noticed a twitch at the edge of Loki's lips as though he was trying to hold back a smile. Tony counted it as a win. He didn't know why, but Tony was never one to really question his instincts much.

"I know you probably won't take my word for it," Loki said, and in his hand was what looked like a cell phone. Tony couldn't even tell how the phone seemed to have just... appeared in Loki's hand. It looked like Frankenstein's monster's idea of a cell phone, with random parts cobbled together and held together by what was probably an alien version of duct tape. "It's still a prototype," Loki indicated the phone. "Inter-realm communication's something we were working on together."

Loki pressed a number of keys on the phone, Tony was assuming he was dialling a number or something. Though given the number of keystrokes Tony could see, maybe he was texting? Do Norse gods text?

"Master Loki, it is good to hear from you," Tony could have wept in joy at the familiar sound of Jarvis's voice coming from the small cell phone speakers.

"Jarvis?" Tony called out even as Loki brought the phone closer.

"Sir, I am glad that you are all right, relatively speaking."

"Relatively speaking?" Tony asked, incredulous.

"Master Loki informed me that you believe it is currently June 2008."

So Norse gods do text, at least the one currently in the room with him do. "So it's really August 2014?" Tony asked.

"Yes sir, Monday 25 August to be precise. I can get Miss Potts on the line if you prefer to have her confirm? She has been quite worried about you."

"Yeah, do that," Tony ordered.

"Please hold a moment, sir."

"Tony? Is that really you?" Pepper's voice came over the phone a moment later.

"Oh god, you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. Pep, what's going on?!" If anyone asked, Tony was in no way pleading. "Am I going nuts? Please tell me I'm not going nuts, or trapped in some sort of D&D role playing nightmare being held hostage by other nuts."

"No Tony, you're not crazy. You've been in a coma for two weeks, and I've been so worried! And now Jarvis said you've got amnesia?"

"It really is 2014?" Tony asked, still hoping that this was some sort of joke, but knowing that it probably wasn't.

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry, Tony," Pepper sounded sad and worried.

"No, it's fine. Not your fault. Its good to know that you're still by my side six years later," Tony said honestly.

"Of course I would be! Who else would run SI otherwise?" Pepper replied, then went suddenly silent.

"Pepper, what aren't you telling me? What do you mean running SI? Where's Obie?" Tony asked.

"Loki, can you take me off speaker, I'd like to speak to you in private for a moment," Pepper said, instead of answering Tony's question.

"Pepper!" Tony protested, but Loki had already disengaged the speaker phone function and raised the phone to his ear, walking to the far side of the room.

There was a minute or so of whispering from Loki. Much to Tony's annoyance, he couldn't make out what was said. His private conversation with Pepper over, Loki came back to Tony's bedside, the phone apparently back on speaker mode.

"I'm sorry, Tony," Pepper said. "I can't imagine how confusing things must be for you right now, but don't worry, Loki will explain as much as he can to you, just trust him and get better, you hear me?"

"But Pepper, I don't know him!"

"Yes, you do. I know you don't remember it, but you know him very well. When it comes to your well-being, I trust Loki to act in your best interest. So please listen to him."

"So, aliens are real?" Tony finally muttered, giving in. He knew he probably sounded like a petulant five-year old, but this was Pepper, she was used to it.

"Yes, you're on their planet or realm or whatever they call it. Its not a joke, nor are you dreaming; you're awake. You're not drunk or hallucinating, all of it is real." By the end of it, Pepper sounded a little apologetic.

"Yeah, okay."

"Tony? I have to go now. Just get better, ok? We need you back."

"I'll try my best, Pep."

"I know you will. Loki, I know you don't need me saying this, but I just need to get it off my chest, take care of him, all right?"

"You have my word." Loki's reply sounded like a solemn promise instead of a run of the mill response one gives under the circumstances.

"Good. Call me if you need anything, all right?" Pepper requested.

"Of course. I will let you know if anything changes."

"You do that." And with that, Pepper hung up.

Loki pressed a few more commands into the phone before it somehow once again just... disappeared. Tony was curious about how Loki did that, but the conversation with Jarvis and Pepper only raised more questions. Just who the hell was Loki that he was on such friendly terms with the two most important people (and yes, Tony had regarded Jarvis as a person for quite some time now) in Tony's life. And _Master_ Loki!?

"Before you ask, Jarvis started addressing me as Master Loki out of his own accord," Loki said, somehow knowing that was one of Tony's many questions. "Pepper and I are friends; Colonel Rhodes and I have an understanding. DUM-E has grown rather fond of me, though U remains a bit wary, which is smart of him," Loki added with a small smile. "But I'm afraid I never had the... pleasure of meeting Obadiah Stane. He had passed away by the time we met."

The way Loki had said the word 'pleasure' made Tony think that the man (alien?) didn't have a good opinion of Obie, though how that could be possible if they had never met, Tony had no idea. And wait a minute - "What do you mean Obie passed away?"

"Mr Stane died some time in 2010, I believe. You and I didn't meet until approximately a year later," Loki explained. "As for who I am to you, that is something only you can answer. What I can tell you is that you are my best friend and confidant," Loki finished softly.

While Loki sounded casual as he concluded his little speech, Tony had a nagging feeling that much more remained unsaid. There was a vulnerability in the way Loki looked at Tony that betrayed him. The tenderness in his voice that Loki was attempting to hold back and a whole array of conflicting emotions that made Tony's already sore head spin. It must be the shock of the situation, but Tony didn't even question how or why for someone who was absolutely shit at handling emotions as he was, that he could read Loki so easily.

All the questions kept running through Tony's mind: How was he injured? Why couldn't they treat him back on Earth? How the hell did he become friends with an alien prince? Did everyone else on Earth know about aliens now? Holy shit, _aliens are real!_

"What... how..." Tony couldn't even articulate what he was trying to ask.

"Rest now, Anthony. I will try to answer any further questions you have after."

* * *

What Loki could tell Tony didn't really answer all of his question. The curse (Tony was still too skeptical about the existence of actual _magic_ to be able to say that with a straight face, but that was what Loki and Healer Eydis called it) that Tony was hit with was in the process of burning up Tony's body and soul, literally from the inside out. This had gone on for two weeks before Eydis and Loki had found a way to stop it. However, it had a secondary effect that the best and the brightest in Asgard hadn't anticipated: it erased the self-identity of its victim and left in its wake an empty vessel. There was also a fail-safe built in so if the victim remembers his past and regain themselves, his life force (aka soul) would be weakened; the more he remembered, the weaker he would become. He would be consumed by the spell until there wasn't anything left. Basically, if Tony regained all of his memories, he would die.

As for why it wiped out only the last six years of Tony's life and not anything further back, Loki's theory was that the events in the intervening six years changed Tony on such a fundamental level that as far as the spell was concerned, they might as well be different people. Tony couldn't help but wonder just what the fuck happened to him in the last six years to make him change to such a degree that he'd be seen as essentially a different person.

The kicker was, the spell wasn't even meant for Tony. It had been aimed at Loki, but Tony had somehow got in the way.

"Its primary purpose was to infect and eliminate magical powers by literally consuming all magical energy, burning it out," Loki explained. "I'm a magical being; if it had hit me I probably would have been dead within hours. Its effect, while still potentially deadly, was much slower on non-practitioners of magic, especially a mortal human, and this allowed us to stop it before it ran its course. You saved my life, Tony."

Sitting up in the bed under his own power finally, Tony looked out the large window, contemplating what Loki said. The view outside was truly alien. The twin moons of Asgard casting an ethereal glow upon the landscape was unlike anything Tony had ever seen or imagined he would ever witness first hand in his lifetime, and yet here he was.

"So," Tony finally said, slowly as his mind worked through the problem. "All I have to do to stay alive is to let the last six years of my life remain forgotten." Tony turned his attention back to Loki standing at the foot of his bed, expression carefully blank. "Problem is, I don't think that's a long term solution, do you?"

"No," Loki answered a moment later. "Not unless you avoid returning to Earth entirely."

"Always knew that my fame would be the death of me. Just never thought it would be quite so literal in this case," Tony let out a bitter laugh.

"Even if you avoid going back to Earth - "

"There's still a chance that my memory will return," Tony finished.

"We don't know what will or will not trigger your mind, but avoiding anything familiar is a good start. We need more time to come up with a solution."

"Yeah, I suppose," Tony agreed. "Any chance of me getting out of here?"

Loki raised an eyebrow at Tony. "When you can stand up and make your way to the door without assistance, then Healer Eydis may consider releasing you."

Tony scowled, knowing full well that it would be days before that was possible, given that he was barely able to sit up in bed by himself.

"I'll bring you some books in the morning," Loki said, as though that was some sort of compromise. "Even if it's just to stop you giving yourself a concussion trying to get out of bed."

The next morning, Tony was too busy freaking out over the gigantic scar on his chest _right over his heart_ to even notice Loki coming into the room until Loki grabbed his hands to stop him from trying to scratch the scar off. Tony was convinced that it was some sort of elaborate make-up job. He was breathing too quickly and Tony could feel himself getting light-headed even as he struggled to free his hands from Loki's grip, which only made Loki more determined to hold on to Tony.

There was also yelling, but Tony couldn't really tell whether he was the one doing the yelling or whether it was Loki or maybe it was the both of them. He couldn't make out any words at all, everything was just a wall of noise; _too much_ and _not real._ The logical part of Tony's brain knew that he was having some sort of break down, but the rest of him was just too busy freaking out to care.

"Anthony, please. You're hurting yourself!"

It was the way that Loki said his name that finally got Tony's attention and just like that, he felt the fight leave him and he literally slumped against Loki, his breath ragged and still too fast. At some point Loki must have climbed onto Tony's bed, he was sat behind Tony, practically restraining Tony with his arms wrapped tightly around his chest, pinning Tony's arms solidly to Tony's side to stop him from hurting himself.

Loki's grip loosened a little, but he didn't let go. Instead, Loki started rubbing his hands up and down Tony's arm in a soothing rhythm. "Breathe with me. Slowly. In... and out.... in.... and out. That's it," Loki instructed, voice low and breath tickling Tony's right ear. "Just breathe."

It took a few minutes before Tony's breathing was back to normal and he could feel his heart rate slowing down as well. Loki didn't let go of him, but Tony found himself not minding the physical contact. The mere presence of Loki seemed to have some sort of grounding effect on Tony. Closing his eyes, Tony rested his head against Loki's left shoulder as he continued to take slow deep breaths.

"Sorry," Tony finally said. Neither he nor Loki seemed inclined to move from their position, with Loki's hands still gently running over Tony's arms.

"There is no need for apologies," Loki replied softly, breath tickling Tony's ear. "The fault lies with me. I should have foreseen this."

"That I would have a complete freak out?"

"I should have foreseen that the scar would be a distressing sight for you and warned you accordingly," Loki explained.

"What happened? Or is this something you can't tell me?" Tony asked. He was essentially laying in the arms of a man, who for all intents and purpose, he just met, but he could deny that having Loki close was comforting.

"I can't tell you the details, but you had an accident four years ago, before I met you. Your heart was damaged as a result and you had to undergo a few major surgeries to repair the damage," Loki replied. He had stop stroking Tony's arm, but he was still holding Tony in a loose embrace as he spoke. "Your heart is fine now. Nothing to worry about. Other than the slight loss of sensation around the scar tissue, everything's fine." Loki continued, somehow anticipating Tony's next question.

It was a few more minutes before Loki gently pulled away from Tony. "We need to get those scratches looked at. You managed to break skin and the last thing we need is for them to get infected."

"Yeah, okay," Tony agreed, reluctantly disentangling himself from Loki's hold, suddenly feeling embarrassed. He was a grown ass man being held like a child by another grown man, Tony was glad his face was still mostly turned away from Loki because otherwise his reputation might just never recover from this.

"Hey," Loki's finger on Tony's cheek made him turn to look up into Loki's eyes. "There is nothing to be ashamed of, Anthony. I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you, waking up in a strange land, with your friends worlds away and no memory of your recent past. It would have been worrying if you didn't have a bit of a melt-down."

Tony could only nod mutely at Loki and wonder how this gorgeous man before him had managed to get to know Tony so well in just three years. Tony doubt even Pepper or Rhodey could recognise his embarrassment without actually seeing his face. As a matter of fact, his friends would probably swear that Tony had lost the ability to be embarrassed.

* * *

The next few days went by a lot quicker than Tony anticipated, mainly because he slept a lot more than normal. As promised, Loki had left him with a number of books, all of which were conveniently loaded onto a StarkPad. If there had been any further doubts that he was indeed six years in the future, and not just kidnapped by aliens for shits and giggles, the tablet he held in his hands pretty much put it to rest. While the tablet bore some resemblance to the StarkPad 3.0 prototype he had been tinkering with, the new design was much sleeker, and even without a link to Jarvis, the user interface and operating system felt smoother and more efficient.

The tablet he had was also either brand new, or Loki had gone to extreme lengths to completely delete any content that might give Tony even a hint of what happened in the last six years. There were no photos, internet history, chat history, email, or anything other than the library of books. Though, given Loki's familiarity with Jarvis, he probably had the tablet hooked up to Tony's AI and had Jarvis do the work. At least that's what Tony would've done in his shoes.

Tony had not seen head or tail of Loki since his rather spectacular melt-down. Loki seemed to have just vanished. Probably avoiding Tony to spare them any further embarrassment. Other than Healer Eydis and a couple of her assistants checking up on Tony a few times a day and bringing him his meals, Tony did not have any visitors. Not too surprising, since all his friends were literally on a different planet, but it still made him feel more alone than ever. The stronger Tony felt, the more he wanted to start tinkering with his projects. As far as Tony's memory was concerned, he had been in the middle of finalising the design for the Jericho missiles, and he wondered if production on those had ever gone ahead.

The StarkPad emitted a beep that startled Tony, indicating an incoming message. Tapping open the message, Tony couldn't help but smile at it.

_Missed me?  
\- L_

He quickly typed out a reply. _Does the whole 'being a god' gig comes with telepathy?_ It was a question that had been plaguing Tony the last few days. The ease that Loki had read him had rattled Tony a little after the fact. Loki had said that Tony was his best friend and confidant, but Tony was also self-aware enough to know that he was a really really crappy friend most of the time and quite possibly had the emotional intelligence of a five year old. Given Tony's past experience with friendship, it was highly doubtful that he would let anyone in that far in just three years, when it took literally decades for Rhodey and Pepper to get that close.

Loki's response came through less than a minute later.

_Not without some serious effort. Not worth it IMO._

For some reason Tony felt that he should have been more surprised at Loki's use of text speak. _Since when is text speak part of the Norse god vernacular?_ he asked.

_One does not 'hang out' with you without picking up some of it. BTW, Eydis mentioned you should be able to leave tomorrow. Joy. y/y?_

Tony couldn't help but laugh at Loki's message. "We must spend a lot of time together then," Tony muttered to himself before quickly tapping out a reply. _Yay! That's one of the 'y' options, right?_

_Absolutely. ;-) I'll have the guest quarters set up for you. If you need anything, just ask one of the attendants._

Norse gods using emoticons was not something Tony ever thought he would see.

 _How is this thing hooked up to that juiced up phone of yours?_ Tony asked, since he was pretty sure even if Asgard had some sort of satellite network, it probably wouldn't be compatible with Earth based technology.

_I manually linked both devices through something similar to your bluetooth technology. Your idea, actually. This is the first time I've tried it. Your tablet can't connect to Jarvis, in case you're wondering. Not yet anyway._

A second message came through before Tony could ask any further questions.

_I apologise for not being there more for you. Been busy researching for a way to break the curse completely._

Tony stared at the message for a full minute, not quite knowing how to respond. While he had been lying in bed like an invalid and feeling sorry for himself, Loki had been actively working to save Tony's life. "God, I'm a selfish bastard," he muttered. It was something that never really bothered Tony before, but for some reason, he felt bad about it now.

 _Thanks._ Tony hit send before quickly typing a follow up. _For everything._

If asked, Tony would not have admitted that he was disappointed by Loki's lack of response.

* * *

As soon as Healer Eydis determined that Tony was well enough to be released from her full time care, Tony was escorted to the guest room Loki promised. In reality, it was more like a guest apartment with its own set of rooms, most of which overlooked what Tony was informed were the private royal gardens.

The female attendant, Iona, who helped Tony with his move in was also helpful enough to inform him that the entire wing they were currently in was basically Loki's domain and Prince Loki's chambers were just down the hall to the right should Tony desired to visit.

Lord Stark? While Tony's ego was pleased at the title, Tony was curious as to why Iona would address him so. And if Tony's memories served him right, Eydis had also nearly addressed him as 'Lord' before she corrected herself and called him Mister Stark.

While a large part of Tony, a very large part, wants to explore the alien planet that he was on and track down Loki to make him answer all of Tony's questions, he felt exhausted after the mere 20 minutes it had taken to get to his new living room. The fact that he had decided to sit down on one of the couches had nothing to do with Eydis's dire warning of forced confinement should Tony over-do things. Nope. He just wanted to try out the very comfortable looking couch and enjoy the view of the garden.

Tony also chose to ignore the fact that when he opened his eyes again the sun was already low on the horizon and there was a tray of food and drink on the side-table right beside the couch. Feeling his stomach grumble at the sight of the food, Tony lifted the cover to find a still warm bowl of soup with some soft cheese and bread; in short, the diet he'd been on since he woke up just under a week ago. Eydis had been wary of introducing solid food to Tony given the state he was in, but the presence of an additional small bowl of what appeared to be fruit suggested that he might soon discover what constituted proper food in Asgard. The soups had been different at every meal, so technically, Tony wasn't having exactly the same meal every day, but still, it was soup.

After finishing off most of the food, Tony hauled himself off the couch and went exploring the apartment. The whole place appeared to be lit by flame torches and candles. There were rooms towards both sides of the living area where Tony was sitting. There was a smaller private sitting room with a fireplace and more comfortable looking furniture. The master bedroom was decorated in mostly pale yellow with dark red accents and one of the biggest four poster beds Tony had ever seen with a private balcony overlooking parts of the city and the edge of the garden.

The bathroom attached to the master bedroom came with a bath tub that was large enough even for the likes of Tony Stark, billionaire playboy. An array of bottles were arranged neatly next to the sink. Curious as to what alien bathroom products might be like, Tony picked up a random bottle, which happened to be labelled 'body wash' clearly in English (probably Loki's doing), opened it and took a sniff. The scent was not one Tony was familiar with but he immediately took a liking to it. It was the same for all the other bottles Tony opened, unfamiliar scents that he somehow liked nonetheless.

On the other side of the bed near to the entry was another door that led to a dressing room big enough that it was furnished with a number of drawers, full length mirrors, a dressing table, and a two seater couch. There were some clothes in what Tony assumed are Asgardian style, hanging in a wardrobe big enough to be a walk-in closet in itself, some of the clothes were in a rich red colour and others in plain black. There were also a few pairs of what Tony assumed could only be his own jeans and a couple set of Earthly formal suits. There were also few pairs of shoes lined up on a shoe rack at the bottom of the closet, boots, dress shoes, and less formal trainers and canvas shoes that Tony preferred. Looking through the largest chest of drawers in the closet also revealed a number of Tony's own t-shirts, underwear and socks neatly folded within.

Tony frowned in confusion at the discovery, trying to figure out how his clothes had managed to get from Earth to Asgard, since it seemed unlikely that they had time to pack after Tony had been hit with the curse that was meant for Loki. Unless Pepper had packed up some of his stuff and Loki had gone back to pick them up for Tony while Tony was still comatose. Or more likely, Loki had sent someone.

Either way, Tony was strangely thankful to the prince for being thoughtful enough to bring some of his belonging over, just so he would have something familiar with him. However, it still didn't explain why Tony had that many sets of clothing in Asgard plus the Asgardian clothing that looked like they were in Tony's size.

On the other side of the living area was another set of door that lead to a private library/study filled with antique looking books with titles written in some sort of runic script that Tony couldn't read. There was a settee like chair set by the window and next to it was a desk with a chair behind it. On the desk was a familiar looking modified StarkPhone, with a note pinned beneath it.

_Tony,_

_I hope that the rooms are to your liking. I apologise for not being able to personally see that you're properly settled, but if there is anything else you require, just let Iona know and she will attend to it._

_The phone is, as you know, a prototype. This is a second phone and yes, you can call Jarvis and me on it if you wish. However, I am uncertain as to how long the power supply will last, so please bear that in mind._

_I would also like to remind you Healer Eydis was very clear in her instructions that you should take things easy. I know you would no doubt like to explore your surroundings, but I implore you to restrain yourself, not only because you're still physically recovering, but because the more stimulus your brain receives, the higher the chance that a memory might be triggered._

_Please take care of yourself, at least for my sake if not your own because I do not wish to experience Pepper's wrath should anything happen to you._

_Yours,  
Loki_

The handwriting on the paper confirmed for Tony that the bottles in the bathroom were indeed labelled by Loki himself. The thought made Tony smile as he sat down in the chair at the desk, playing with the modified StarkPhone. Tony couldn't recall the last time someone had gone to so much effort to make him feel comfortable without wanting anything from him. Although Tony couldn't rule out that Loki might want something in return somewhere down the line, he sensed that this wasn't the case.

It didn't take Tony long to work out how to call Jarvis on the modified phone. It might be a few generations ahead of the tech he was used to, but it was still his own tech.

"Good afternoon, sir." The familiarity of Jarvis's voice was more soothing than Tony expected.

"Jarvis, my man! What's been going on since I've been gone?" Tony asked, leaning back against the chair.

"Sir, if this is an attempt to make me fill in your missing memory, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. I have strict instructions against doing so."

"Strict instructions? From whom?" Tony asked. "Also Jarv, I'm pretty sure I still have overriding command."

"While that may be true in most instances, this is sadly for you, not one of them."

Tony frowned. "Who gave the command? Was it Pepper?"

"No sir. It was Master Loki."

"Right. Loki. Just how high is his level of access?"

"Level zero alpha, sir."

"What?!" To say that Tony was shocked would be like saying that the surface of the sun is just a little warm. "He has system administration access?!"

"Yes, sir."

"And _I_ granted him that level of access? He didn't break his way into your codes or something?"

"Yes, sir. You granted Master Loki system admin access 26 months ago," Jarvis answered. Ever since Tony created Jarvis, Tony had been the only person with system administration access. Pepper and Rhodey had relatively high level access, as did Obie, but no one else was system admin, no one but Tony. At least until now.

"Jarvis, can you call Pepper for me," this was probably something Tony needed to talk to someone about. Provided that they would even tell him anything, given his current 'remember and you die' situation.

"Sir, its currently 4:05am in New York. Do you wish me to wake Miss Potts?"

Damn, there went his plan, and what was Pepper doing in New York? "No, that's fine. I'll just talk to her later then. Can you leave her a message and tell her that I'm all right."

"Very well, sir."

"Thanks, Jarv," Tony said before he disconnected the phone, mindful of what Loki said about the power supply. The same Loki who apparently has complete access to probably all aspects of Tony's life, because Tony could not imagine himself giving anyone equal access to Jarvis's systems without them already having full access to the rest of his life.

Just who was Loki to Tony Stark circa 2014? Given how well Loki seemed to know Tony, from his favourite colour, down to something as personal as the bath and shampoo scents that Tony liked, there seemed to be something beyond the labels of 'confidant' and 'best friend' that Loki had alluded to.

Was it possible that he and Loki were lovers? The way Loki had held Tony when he'd freaked out seem to suggest that Loki was quite familiar with Tony's person. But the fact that Pepper trusted Loki threw that theory into doubt. She had explicitly told Tony to trust Loki and Pepper _never_ trusted any of Tony's lovers. However, even adding 'lover' to the equation still didn't quite explain the level of trust Tony of 2014 seemed to have put into Loki. Giving system admin access to Jarvis was the equivalent of granting parental rights to his first born if Tony had a kid. It was a whole level of trust that Tony wasn't even sure he was capable of giving another person. Besides, Tony hadn't had anything that might be considered a relationship – or anything more than a one night stand to be honest – since completing his first doctorate degree, and what Loki knew about Tony seemed far more intimate than even the label of 'lover' would warrant.

Tony fell asleep that night dreaming of long legs and sombre green eyes.

* * *

Tony was never one to sit idle for long. Even with the vast number of books that was crammed into the StarkPad's virtual library and his now almost daily wander around the royal garden, Tony was starting to get more and more restless as he recovered.

Jarvis and Pepper had flat out refused to let Tony have access to any of his past or current project files, and with Loki's commands in place, Tony couldn't even override Jarvis's orders with his own. They had also refused to tell Tony anything more than what Loki had already revealed, which only made Tony more frustrated than ever. Pepper had the audacity to laugh when Tony threatened to fire her.

After finishing dinner (he had graduated to stew instead of plain soup), Tony decided that he was well enough to have a bit of a wander beyond the paths to the garden and the healing halls. Tony didn't bother calling for Iona to accompany him, figuring that if he wandered into something he wasn't supposed to, well, tough luck. It wasn't like anyone told him there were places that were out of bounds. Tony choose to ignore Loki's instructions that he should probably stay inside for his own good, since technically, they were only suggestions and not orders per se.

There were slightly fewer attendants wandering around the palace now that the sun had set, but the royal guards were still all over the place. Picking a random stairwell at the end of the corridor, Tony decided to head as far up as he could, he had always loved viewing things from up high, and he had a feeling Asgard at night from the top of the palace would be a spectacular sight.

It didn't take long for Tony to reach the top; his rooms were already located quite high up as it was. But instead of a rooftop as Tony had expected, he found himself in what appeared to be an observatory. The roof was a clear glass dome, showing spectacular view of the night sky, while half of the walls consisted of floor to ceiling length clear glass pane, offering a bird's eye view of the city; it was as amazing as Tony thought it would be. It would probably look even better if the lights in the room were extinguished.

Looking around the room for the light sources – the damned torches on the walls again – Tony noticed that he wasn't alone in the room. There was a long table bench against one of the non-glass walls with various papers, scrolls, and books strewn all over its surface and the familiar figure of Loki slumped over an open book, fast asleep.

Even in sleep, Loki looked exhausted. Tony wondered how long Loki had been up here, searching for a means to save Tony, and he stubbornly pushed down the sense of guilt that arose from ignoring Loki's instructions to not wander. A few strands of Loki's dark hair had fallen onto his face, and Tony had to stop himself from reaching out and brushing it back.

Tony must have made some noise or something because Loki woke up immediately, instantly alert and eyes focused on Tony. He relaxed a little at the sight of Tony.

"Uh, hi. Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," Tony said, trying not to stare at Loki as he stretched his back. "I didn't know anyone was up here. Hell, I didn't even know _this_ was up here," Tony babbled.

"It's fine. I hadn't actually meant to fall asleep," Loki replied, gathering up various bits of papers around the table and a StarkPad that had previously been hidden from Tony's view.

"Just how many of those do you have anyway?" Tony asked, indicating the StarkPad now in Loki's hands.

"Just two. You have the other one. I find it quicker to take notes on it while I go through paper sources. Jarvis helps analysing the information on it." Loki replied, standing up even as Tony made his way towards the table.

"Jarvis's helping? How?"

"I've linked the phone with the tablet, Jarvis does the rest," Loki shrugged.

"What's this place?" Tony asked. "Some sort of observatory?"

"Yes," Loki replied as he finished tidying up the various papers and books on the table. Loki moved towards Tony and guided him towards the centre of the room. "Look up."

Tony obeyed the instructions even as he noticed the rest of the room turning dark as the lights were extinguished. There was a shimmer across the surface of the domed roof, and the Asgardian night sky appeared brighter than Tony would ever thought possible. Unfamiliar constellations filled his vision, among nebulous clouds that glowed pink, blue, and purple. Only one of Asgard's moon was visible tonight in a half crescent at the edge of Tony's vision.

Craning his neck, Tony could only look at the view before him in speechless awe.

"See that brightest star at the tip of the cloud?" Loki pointed. "If you follow that downwards," Loki traced a path with his finger, leaving a faint green light trail as it travels through a cluster of stars, forming an outline of a canine figure in its wake.

"The Wolf Star," Tony breath, somehow knowing that was the name of the constellation though unsure as to how he knew.

"Fenrir," Loki said softly. "Named after a wolf-pup I rescued when I was but a boy myself."

Tony frowned as Loki fell silent, the green light trail fading into darkness. How did Tony know the name of the constellation? The shape of it had narrowed down the options, but it could have well been the dog star as it was on Earth.

"Stop thinking," Loki admonished. "Come, lie down and just enjoy the view," Loki tugged on Tony's wrist, pulling him to lay on the bare floor. "That's Thor's Hammer," Loki pointed once more, tracing the outline of another constellation. "And the Falcon next to it."

"Oh come on, that doesn't look anything like a falcon," Tony said, squinting at the fading green light trail. "More like a... penguin," Tony finally decided.

"A penguin?" Loki asked, sounding unfamiliar with the word. "Oh, one of those flightless bird from Earth?"

"Yeah, they wobble all over the place when they're on land. Cutest thing you'll ever see."

They spent probably an hour lying on the floor, with Loki pointing out various constellation and occasionally telling Tony the story behind some of them.

"And that," Tony pointed at another cluster of stars to their left. "That's totally Batman."

"Batman," Loki repeated, his tone dry, as though he couldn't believe the drivel that was coming from Tony.

"Yep, Batman. The Bat Signal. See the tips there, and if you go down that way," Tony pointed at the stars in question and attempted to trace the bat signal figure he was seeing.

"Hmm... if you say so," Loki said, clearly not believing what Tony was saying. Tony wondered why Loki was indulging him in something so ridiculous.

"And that," Tony decided to stop wondering about Loki and pointed at another cluster of stars at the top right corner of the bat signal. "That's totally Hello Kitty," Tony declared, tracing out the head of the Japanese cartoon cat.

There was a silent pause before Loki burst out in laughter. Surprised, Tony turned his head only to be greeted by a sight more amazing than Asgard's night sky. Loki looked carefree, his eyes gleaming in happiness as he laughed. Tony couldn't help smiling at the image before him, captivated by Loki's joy.

"How the hell do you know about Hello Kitty?" Tony asked, amused.

"The internet," Loki replied, trying to suppress what were now giggles.

Tony couldn't turn away even if he wanted to. This laughing Loki was a completely different creature from the solemn figure Tony had barely seen in the last couple of weeks, often with a veil of poorly concealed sadness that followed him around, and Tony found that he liked this lighter version of Loki much better.

"You should do that more often, you know," Tony said, wondering why his voice had gone quiet.

"What? Go on the internet?" Loki asked, puzzled, but he was still smiling as he looked at Tony.

"Laugh," Tony answered. "It suits you."

There was a flash of... something across Loki's face. It was gone far too quick for Tony to put a name to it, but the veil made a return, with Loki's smile turning melancholic. Tony mentally cursed himself for opening his mouth.

"Come on," Loki said, sitting up. "I think that's enough excitement for tonight. Eydis would be cross if you over exert yourself."

"Yeah, she's almost as bad as Pepper," Tony got up to his feet as well, brushing away non-existent dust from his pants. "I better let you get back to - " Tony pointed towards the pile of books at the table. "Uh, your work. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Loki shook his head. "Unless you're suddenly fluent in ancient Nordic runes, or have more than a working knowledge of magical theory..." Loki trailed off.

"Right," Tony nodded. "Better stay out of your way then." Tony made his way towards the exit.

"Tony," Loki called out. Tony turned around to see Loki hesitating, as though he wasn't sure what he was going to say. "Good night."

"Good night."

* * *

There was no sign of Loki for the next four days and the most exciting thing that happened was Tony finally being allowed proper solid food after weeks of liquid and semi-liquid diet. The meat/fish/weird alien animals were nice, but Tony was seriously missing pizza and cheeseburgers. At least for lunch there was some sort of roasted root vegetable on his plate, and that was a bit like french fries, so that was something.

Tony was going a bit stir crazy from the inactivity. He still felt tired after spending five minutes climbing the stairs to the observatory (which he did another time two nights after the first time and was disappointed to find no signs of Loki), but he was too restless to be sitting around doing nothing. He had found some more interesting texts from the virtual library Loki provided, including some on the basics of magical theories, but they only made him want access to his workshop so he could start experimenting with some of what he'd read. Tony had even contemplated dismantling the Frankenstein cell phone to see how it worked. The only thing that stopped him was that he wasn't sure he'd be able to put it back together without the right tools, he really didn't want to lose his only link to Jarvis and Pepper.

While Tony knew that he wasn't supposed to be actively trying to remember things from his past, his brain didn't seemed to be taking the dire consequences quite as seriously as it should. It had always been, according to Pepper, a character flaw of his. Like that time his fifth grade science teacher said he couldn't build a quarter-scaled model of a nuclear missile for his science project. To be fair, it was a non-working model and no one had been in any real danger of getting blown up.

He had wandered to other parts of the palace – partly exploring and partly hoping he'll run into Loki again – finding himself at the ginormous Royal Library at one point, filled with books that he couldn't read. Tony also somehow managed to get himself lost one day and tumbled across a section of the palace that was forbidden to him: the vault.

Most of the people he encountered, guards and attendants, in his wandering had been extremely courteous and respectful to him, which probably shouldn't be that surprising given his association with their prince, but none of them really talked to Tony. The exception was Fandral, who had found Tony after he was denied entry to the vault and ended up a bit lost.

Tony had a feeling that Iona had been discreetly following him all over, despite Tony telling her it wasn't necessary. When Tony got into trouble, Iona must have somehow found Fandral to come get him. Fandral, as it turned out was a friend of Loki's.

"Are you limping? Should you even be walking around?" Tony asked as they made their way out of the gigantic golden hallway away from the vaults.

"It's nothing. Got a little careless during a training exercise." Fandral brushed off Tony's question as they slowly made their way through more golden hallways that looked exactly the same to Tony's eyes.

Like everyone else Tony spoke to, Fandral was tight lipped about Tony's past and stuck to idle chit-chat as he escorted Tony back to his rooms before excusing himself. The encounter with Fandral pretty much convinced Tony that everyone of any importance around the place was probably avoiding Tony on purpose, which was aggravating. It also made Tony wonder whether Loki was also avoiding him on purpose. Even though Tony knew that Loki was busy trying to find a way to help him, the thought nonetheless hurt more than he'd expected.

While their encounters have been limited thus far, Tony enjoyed Loki's company despite being irritated at the other man for refusing to answer Tony's questions. The evening at the observatory had been the most enjoyable Tony had had without involving alcohol and/or sex. The way Loki had woven the mythos behind the various constellations in the sky, his voice soothing as he spoke of the ancient tales, Tony could've listened to him all night. He would also quite happily sit and watch Loki laugh.

The last few days of wandering had also confirmed Tony's suspicions that he seemed to have pretty much un-restricted access to the Royal Palace of this alien world, with the exception of the most important bits. As far as Tony could tell, not even Loki could go into those places without prior permission from Odin All-father. It was like having almost free rein of the White House, which was quite frankly, preposterous. All of it left Tony a little bewildered and even more curious about his position in Asgard. Just because he was Loki's friend (and possibly lover?) didn't mean that he had a free pass over the place... does it?

In a last ditch attempt to 'bump into' Loki (and Tony really should stop lying to himself. He'd been trying to find Loki ever since the night at the observatory, and he hadn't been able to stop dreaming about the guy ever since), Tony tried the closed doors that Iona mentioned led to Loki's rooms.

He knocked on the door, and when there was no answer, Tony simply opened the door and walked in. He was never told to not go in, and if Loki wanted to keep people out, he should've locked the door or something.

"Loki?" Tony called out, but there was no reply. From the entrance, Tony could see that it was another suite of rooms similar to his own, only much bigger. The living area was probably big enough to be called a reception hall, and the walls were lined with shelves of books and scrolls, with the occasional random knick-knacks here and there. The place was decorated in the same pale yellow as Tony's rooms and with accented designs in emerald green.

Slowly, Tony made his way through the hall, making a turn through a set of half-shut doors to what he assumed was the study only to find himself in what must be Loki's bedroom, if the large bed in the middle of the room was an indication. The windows and balcony doors were wide open, and a gentle refreshing breeze came in through them.

"Loki?" Tony called out once more, taking a few more steps into the room when a sudden bout of dizziness almost sent him collapsing onto the floor. He spared himself the indignity by grabbing onto one of the bedposts and regaining his balance.

_"You have the best view of the city, don't you?" Tony heard himself say. He was sitting on the bed, looking up at Loki who was standing next to him. Tony could feel Loki's hand resting at the back of his neck, thumb slowly stroking his hair at the nape of his neck which had grown slightly longer than he normally allowed._

_"Of course. Thor and father never really cared for the views, and mother found the gardens more peaceful," Loki said. "You can see the ocean and the Bifrost from here. At night, it's simply beautiful."_

_"So, is that what we'll be doing tonight? Enjoying the view?" Tony asked, teasing._

_"If you want," Loki's smile was playful, looking down at Tony fondly ---_

"Tony?" Loki's voice coming from somewhere behind Tony.

"I've been here before," Tony muttered even as the images fade from his mind's eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut, desperately wanting to get it back, to feel that sense of... contentment once again, something that he had never experienced before.

"What?"

"Asgard. Your room. I've been here before. We... damn it!" Tony cursed as the memory danced out of his reach. He shook his head, trying to shake away the dizziness and the fog in his brain, but the motion only seem to make things worse. "We were here, and I was sitting right there and - " A sharp piercing pain shot through his skull and Tony couldn't help crying out even as he clutched his head and fell to his knees as more images surged through his mind.

"Tony!" Loki was by his side in an instant, supporting Tony. "Don't remember. Please Anthony, please don't remember," Loki held Tony close.

Tony could only try to breathe through the pain in his head, clutching at Loki. Not even the worst migraine he had ever had came close to the pain he had just experienced, but it was slowly fading. "The sun was setting," Tony continued softly, still clinging onto Loki. "You were pointing out the bits of the city we could see from here."

"Tony," Loki sounded pained, but he continued to hold onto Tony.

"This is why you've been keeping yourself and everyone else out of sight, isn't it? And the observatory the other night, that felt familiar as well. This isn't my first time in Asgard, and you were afraid something like this might happen."

"Yes," Loki admitted, having regained some of his composure. "It was a fool's hope to even think that you wouldn't wander too far, but I had to try."

"Distracting me with magical science texts was a good strategy," Tony admitted, slowly pulling away from Loki now that his brain didn't feel like it was in danger of being liquified.

"Just not good enough," Loki sighed. "How do you feel?"

Tony was going to say 'fine' but as he tried to stand up, he was hit by a strong sense of vertigo and if it wasn't for Loki, Tony would've fallen flat on his face. "Dizzy," he finally managed.

"Iona!" Loki called out. "Get Healer Eydis. Tell her we're on our way to the healing halls."

Tony didn't think he had it in himself to protest, not even just so he could be contrary. Not when he couldn't convince his eyes and brain that no, the room really wasn't spinning like one of those demented tea-cup carnival rides.

Even though Tony had never been prone to motion sickness, he still ended up puking his guts out by the time they got to the healing rooms. It was purely due to Loki's quick reflexes that it was into a bucket and not all over Loki and one of the other healers.

The next few minutes – or it could have been hours for all Tony knew – passed in a blur as Eydis arrived and poured various concoctions down his throat to help with his nausea, vertigo, headache and whatever else that was wrong with him. Lying flat on a bed and closing his eyes helped a little with the dizziness, as did whatever medication he was given, but he was still feeling sick and weak. Throughout it all, Loki stayed by his side, a solid presence that Tony was literally clinging onto.

"Tony, how much do you remember?" Eydis's voice was soft and gentle, obviously trying not to aggravate Tony's symptoms.

"Not much," Tony replied, not bothering with opening his eyes. He could feel the room spinning just fine without needing to see it. It was a lot better than it was before, but even magical potions couldn't stop it completely. "Just that one moment. Probably ten, fifteen minutes out of six years."

There was a barely discernible hum that told Tony that the holographic scanner thingy had been turned on. He'd been back for check ups with Eydis often enough to recognise the sound. The extra tension in Loki's arms told Tony that whatever they were seeing, it was not good.

"I really wasn't trying to remember," Tony eventually said. "There are just... so many questions." It was one of the lamest excuse Tony had ever come up with, but it was the truth, at least partially. He hadn't actively tried to remember things, he just went looking for answers to questions that he knew would probably end up triggering his memories.

"I know," Loki replied, gently squeezing Tony's hand a little in reassurance. "You're just too curious for your own good."

"So, how much damage did I do?"

There was a pause before Eydis finally answered. "Your recollection has affected the curse just as we expected, but I'll need to observe you further before anything can be concluded." The hum from the scanner stopped. "You need to rest. The vertigo should pass once you're sufficiently rested."

"Loki?" Tony wasn't even sure what he wanted or what he was asking, but apparently that didn't matter because somehow, Loki knew.

"Go to sleep, Anthony. I'll be right here."

Loki always knew.

* * *

It looked like mid-morning by the time Tony woke. A low murmur drew Tony's attention and he turned to find Loki working on an ancient looking tome of a book. Sometime during the night Loki must have found a small desk from somewhere and moved it next to Tony's bed.

"You stayed."

Loki's attention was immediately on Tony. "I said I would. How are you feeling?"

"Fine. The dizziness is gone, thank god. And I think I can eat something."

"Good, I'll get some food sent up. In the meantime, I think Eydis wants to have another look at you."

In the end, they still didn't know much beyond what had already been established, though Eydis had a theory that Tony's memories might be returning sooner now that the first had broken through whatever barrier that had been blocking them in his mind. Eydis had wanted Tony to remain in the healing halls, but Tony was having none of it. If his life span could be numbered in days, he was not spending it in a hospital bed, especially if he was on an _alien planet_.

Come to think of it... "Can I get out of the palace?" Tony asked after Loki walked him back to his rooms. They were standing at the entry, the doors still opened.

Loki looked as though he was going to object, but Tony didn't give him a chance. "You don't have to come along – no wait. That's a crappy thing to say. I want you to come along, but I know you probably can't seeing as you're working on the whole life saving spell-work thing, but I'm really tired of being cooped up in here, and if my mortality can be measured in days - "

"The last thing you want is to be trapped in here doing absolutely nothing," Loki finished with a sigh. "Tony - "

"Loki," Tony interrupted again. "I'm not trying to be difficult here. It's just... I mean I don't know if I'll ever..." Tony trailed off, not quite able to finish the sentence.

Wordlessly, Loki simply stepped into Tony's personal space and hugged him. Surprised at the gesture, Tony automatically returned the hug, resting his head against Loki's shoulder as he did so. Tony felt Loki tightening his grip and the faint tremors that Loki was trying to hide without much success.

"It'll be okay," Tony found himself trying to reassure Loki, something he can't recall to have ever done so before in his life. "It'll be all right. You'll be fine."

Tony felt Loki's breath hitch even as he continued to held on to Tony as though he would drown if he let go. "I'll see if Fandral is willing to play guide," Loki finally murmured against Tony's ear, giving in.

Loki still hadn't let go, but Tony didn't mind. "Thank you," he said instead.

"Just... don't get into too much trouble," Loki said, finally loosening his grip and taking a small step back and squaring his shoulders.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Me? Getting into trouble?"

"Yes, you."

And there was that rather sad, yet fond look from Loki again. Tony wished he could make Loki laugh even just one more time.

"Swear I'll be a good boy. Scout's honour."

Loki let out a snort, plain disbelief clear on his face. It wasn't a full on laugh, but Tony will take his victories wherever he could.

* * *

The next couple of days were spent playing tourist around Asgard with Fandral as Tony's guide. The guy was funny and told some great stories about the various shenanigans the Princes of Asgard got up to when they were younger. Yet Tony couldn't help wishing that it was Loki by his side instead.

"Sounds like Loki's got you into as much trouble as he got you out of," Tony commented, smiling at Fandral's latest tale.

"Aye, that he did. Don't tell him I say this, but he is one of the smartest people I know. Never without a plan. He's also one of the most powerful mages in the Nine Realms."

"Are you trying to reassure me?" Tony asked.

"What I'm saying is, if anyone can find a solution, its Loki," Fandral patted Tony on his back. "Let us not dwell on dark thoughts. Come, there's a tavern just ahead with the best honey cake in the city. You have to try some!"

Tony followed Fandral's lead, contemplating at the same time what he would do if he was back on Earth and only had days to live. Get drunk. He would probably just get so pissing drunk and die of alcohol poisoning instead of whatever else that was killing him. Or maybe he'd take up skydiving and hope that the parachute didn't open or something and he'd go out with a bang instead. None of which were options available to him right now.

Well, Tony could possibly get his hands on some alcohol if he really tried, but Fandral was keeping a really close eye on him, most likely because Loki had asked him to, and Iona's hands were similarly tied. Tony was also trying not to get into trouble like he'd promised Loki, which was rather unusual since he had never really cared about keeping promises, at least not those where he couldn't be sued for breach of contract or some such. Yet, somehow, it was important to him that he kept his promise to Loki.

The second night, after returning from a day out wandering around the city streets, Tony rang Jarvis to make sure his will was up to date. Tony didn't know what his 2014 self had put in his will, but given that he was missing six years of memories, Tony didn't change anything beyond confirming that yes, there was a will and everything will be taken care of should the worse come to pass. Tony didn't really want to think about the possibility of dying, but with the daily trips to the healing halls and Eydis's constant frown over his results, Tony wasn't holding out much hope for a miracle.

There was a part of him that wanted to scream and shout to the world that it wasn't fair, that he deserved more than this. His life was in his own hands and no one else’s and he would go out in a blast, not silently on some alien world being snuffed out like a candle flame. Then there was the rational, and somehow more mature part of him that Tony hadn't even realised was there, telling him that with his wild nightlife and the drinking problem that he'd refused to admit he had, he'd been lucky to even made it this far.

No one could ever accuse Tony of being introspective, but things change when one faces certain death. Tony realised that he had had it better than a lot of people, his genius and wealth came with a lot of privileges that most of the population can only dream of, despite the various pitfalls of fame. Standing in the royal palace on an alien world, looking out at unfamiliar alien constellations, how many humans could say they've done that?

"Take that, Neil Armstrong," Tony said to himself, chuckling.

Feeling a headache coming on, Tony retreated to his room and went to sit outside on the balcony. His view was not as good as Loki's, but it was relaxing nonetheless. Tony had always been fond of views from up high. He had even been toying with the idea of building a skyscraper somewhere in New York and relocate parts of SI over there. Maybe he had done that, given that Pepper seemed to be spending a lot of time in New York.

The dull throbbing in his head took a sudden turn into stabbing pain. Tony heard himself scream as he felt his chest cavity being cracked open and everything faded to black.

* * *

There was a strange sense of deja-vu when Tony woke up once more in the healing halls clawing at his chest and screaming.

"Yinsen! I have to - "

"Tony, it's only a memory. You're on Asgard, it's all over now. Please, Anthony, you have to calm down."

Someone was gripping his hands. Loki, it was only Loki. He relaxed his grip when Tony stopped trying to tear the no longer present arc reactor out of his own chest.

"I take that I got rid of the shrapnel and arc reactor some point," Tony asked after finally managed to get his breathing under control.

"You did," Loki replied, finally letting go of Tony's hands completely. "How much did you remember?"

"The three whole fucking months in that cave," Tony replied, squeezing his eyes shut. "Of all the things to remember, I'm pretty sure I would rather permanently forget those three months."

"I'm sorry," Loki said quietly. Tony could feel Loki's hand on his shoulder, reassuring.

"Not your fault. At least I managed to blow them all to kingdom come." Tony opened his eyes and looked up at Loki who was sitting at the edge of the bed. In his mind, Tony could still feel the pain in his chest, the hands holding his head as he drowned repeatedly in a bucket of water; he could still hear the gunshots, explosions, and Yinsen's last words echoed: _'Don't waste your life.'_

Tony wasn't even sure what was real any more.

"Loki, if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone for a bit," Tony said.

The hand on Tony's shoulder withdrew immediately and Loki stood up. "Of course. I'll let you rest." Loki's response was strangely stiff.

Tony regretted asking Loki to leave the moment he stepped out of the room. Somehow, Tony felt that he had hurt Loki with the request. He couldn't help remembering the last time Loki hugged him, the warmth he had felt in that embrace went beyond mere body heat. Despite Loki's distress, Tony had felt safe in Loki's arms.

God, he was such a jerk.

Guilt weighed down on Tony when he saw no sign of Loki for the rest of the next day. Every time someone walked through the door, Tony kept hoping that it was Loki, but he was disappointed each time. Tony had a sense that he might quite possibly be just getting a little obsessed with Loki, since almost all of his waking thoughts were centred around Loki in one way or another. Even the return of what was probably his most traumatic memory wasn't enough to distract Tony from Loki, at least not for long. His mind kept replaying the sight of Loki laughing, the scent of winter that Tony somehow associate with Loki, the way they just seemed to fit into each other's space with apparent effortless ease, wanting to make Loki laugh again...

If Tony hadn't already been sitting down, he probably would've fallen flat on his face when realisation finally dawned: he was falling in love with Loki.

"Fuck," he breathe. "How did that happen?"

* * *

Tony was very much mistaken when he thought that there were no more places he could possibly be poked and prodded by Eydis. Even with their advanced scanning technologies, Eydis was still very much a hands-on type of doctor. With more of his memories returning, Eydis now had more data to work with and more avenues to investigate, which meant Tony was subjected to even more examination and various medication and spell work that Tony couldn't be bothered keeping track of.

It was in the middle of one of Eydis' examination that Tony felt the tell-tale sign of a pre-memory wham headache coming on. "Eydis, I think its happening again." Tony managed to get out before he let out another scream as another memory hit him. This time the memory was accompanied by the feeling of as though someone was stabbing an ice-pick right through his forehead.

_Tony was flying. He was in his Iron Man suit and he was flying._

_"Light her up," he said and in the distance, he could see what must be the new Stark Tower lighting up._

_"How does it look?" Pepper's voice came over the comm._

_"Like Christmas, but with more... me."_

_"That's just what we need, for Christmas to be about you," Loki drawled._

_"Aw, come on darling, how else can I hold the attention of a god?"_

_"What makes you think you have my attention in the first place?" Tony could hear the amusement in Loki's voice._

_"Well, you are in my penthouse, in my tower, and hopefully, in nothing but my bathrobe by the time I get back."_

_"Guys, flirt later, preferably when I'm not here. Tony, you gotta go wider on the public awareness campaign. You need to do some press. I can do some more tomorrow. I'm working on the zoning for the next billboards."_

_"Pepper, you're killing me. Just enjoy the moment."_

_"Are you inviting me to join you and Loki?" Pepper teased._

_"Why Miss Potts! I never knew you were that sort of girl!" Tony replied, making Pepper giggle._

_"Just get back here, Tony," Loki sounded like he was laughing as well. "Or Pepper and I will start without you," he finished with a sultry purr that sent Tony's libido into overdrive at the mental image._

_He landed on the Stark Tower platform and the Iron Man suit was removed by a number of robotic arms as he walked into the penthouse. Both Pepper and Loki turned to greet him with matching mischievous grins._

_"You were trying to give me a heart attack weren't you? The both of you. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea introducing you to each other," Tony complained, only to have Pepper and Loki grinning even wider._

_"Sir, Agent Coulson of SHIELD is on the line."_

_"I'm not in. I'm actually out."_

_"Sir, I'm afraid he's insisting."_

_"Close the line Jarvis. I've got a date."_

_"In case you're interested, the energy levels are holding steady," Loki said, holding a glass of champagne to Tony ---_

_\--- Obie was standing in front of him and Tony couldn't move._

_"... Tony, this is your Ninth Symphony," Obie said even as he removed the arc reactor from Tony's chest. "What a masterpiece. Look at that. This is your legacy. A new generation of weapons with this at its heart. Weapons that will help steer the world back on course, put the balance of power in our hands. The right hands. I wish you could see my prototype. It's not as... Well, not as conservative as yours. Too bad you had to involve Pepper in this. I would have preferred that she lived."_

_With that, Obie took the reactor and left, leaving Tony to ---_

Eydis's concerned gaze greeted Tony the next time he awoke. "Two memories," Tony reported without further prompts from Eydis. "Back to back in no particular order." Tony was feeling completely exhausted.

Eydis made a note in her record.

"Its speeding up isn't it?" Tony asked even though he already knew the answer. He could feel the weakness in his limbs as the effects of the curse made themselves known.

"I'm afraid so," Eydis confirmed.

"Any idea how much longer I have?"

"If the effects remain consistent, I suspect you might slip back into a coma after another two to three episodes. After that it might be another week or two before we lose you completely," Eydis din't bother sugarcoating her answer.

"I appreciate your candour."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault Eydis, not your fault."

* * *

_Tony was flying again, speeding over the streets of New York. There were things, aliens, the Chitauri, chasing him. Voices in his ears; Jarvis, Loki, Captain America, Nick Fury, all demanding his attention for one thing or another, but he was too busy trying to lead the Chitauri fleet away from the civilians._

_"Tony, Thor's almost right above your position," Loki's voice cut through the rest of the chatter._

_"Got it. Let him know I need multiple 1.21 gigawatts bolts of lightning for what's on my tail!" Tony replied, changing his heading and making a mental note to come up with a comm unit that's Thor and lightning friendly._

_"Keep them back from the Tower, I'm going after Amora," Loki said._

_"Be careful, it doesn't look like she's completely there," Tony said even as he flew pass Thor, with at least one of the leviathans right behind him._

_"Don't worry, love. Just keep the Chitauri away, I know what I'm doing."_

_"Everyone, you heard the man, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but let's keep the party_ away _from Stark Tower," Tony announced, turning around in mid-air in time to see Thor's lightning bolt frying the mechanical creature pursuing him as ordered ---_

_\--- "Who are you and what are you doing here?" the guy standing near the door was tall, pale, and dark haired._

_Loki, Tony's mind supplied, the first time they met._

_"I could ask you the same, buddy!" Tony retorted. "You don't look like Mr Roberts to me."_

_"Who on Earth is Mr Roberts?" Loki asked, with a British accent that sounded even more proper than Jarvis's. And could those legs get any longer and those jeans any tighter?_

_"Who are_ you _?" Tony demanded in return, scrambling up from the rather embarrassing position of being flat on his back._

_"A friend of the family's. I should be the one asking the questions here."_

_"A friend of the family who visits at," Tony looked at his wristwatch. "Barely five in the morning?"_

_The man narrowed his eyes at Tony, making his already rather prominent cheekbones stand out even more. "I like to get an early start to the day," he replied. "And you, Mr Stark, are clearly trespassing." ---_

_\--- "Mother, welcome to our home." Loki lead the Queen of Asgard into the mansion._

_"Your Majesty," Tony bowed._

_"Please, call me Frigga. I try not to stand on ceremony when I'm among family." Despite the motherly look she gave Loki, there was no mistaking the woman standing in front of Tony for anything but royalty. Power and authority radiated from her, and it was easy to see how the Scandinavians of old could have mistaken Loki's people for gods._

_"As you wish, Frigga," Tony agreed with a smile which Frigga returned._

_She step in and gave Tony a hug. "It is good to see you again, Tony."_

_"Welcome to Earth," Tony returned the hug, trying not to freak out over the fact that in a few hours, the Queen of Asgard was officially going to be his mother-in-law._

_"Come on then boys. Its only a few hours until the ceremony, and neither of you are appropriately dressed," Frigga gave Tony's outfit a critical look. "My son is not marrying someone dressed in_ that _."_

_"I agree," Loki chimed in._

_"Hey!" Tony protested. "AC/DC is a classic!"_

_"That may be so, love, but you're_ not _turning up in t-shirt and jeans for our wedding."  
_

"Tony? Can you hear me?" Eydis's voice somehow managed to get through the fog that's Tony's brain for the last couple of days.

"Yeah," Tony managed to croak out a reply.

"Drink this," Eydis said and shoved a mug of the headache remedy at Tony. He was getting quite familiar with the various concoction Eydis had been pouring down his throat. This time, she didn't even bother asking how much Tony remembered. The memories were coming back quicker and quicker now, and even Tony could no longer ignore how weak he was feeling as a result.

"You know its not really working anymore, right?" Tony still reached out and took the mug, almost dropping it before he stabilised his hold with both hands. He downed the bitter tasting drink in one go.

"I made some adjustments. It should at least dull the pain a little even if it doesn't cure it." Eydis took the mug from Tony once he had finished, and Tony couldn't help notice that his hands were shaking.

For the fourth (or was it third? Tony was losing count) day in a row, there was no sign of Loki. His husband. Loki was his husband, the one detail that answered so many of Tony's questions. Tony had a feeling that he didn't have much more time left to wait for Loki to turn up. If the mountain won't come to Mohammad, well, Mohammad will just have to summon the mountain harder.

"Eydis, can you get Loki for me?"

"Of course."

Less than five minutes later, Loki practically ran into the room, stopping only when he reached Tony's bedside.

"You know, when I told you to leave me alone for a bit," Tony started. "I meant 'a bit', not days on end." Now that Tony know what to look for, he could see how Loki was barely holding it together, trying to appear strong in front of Tony.

"I got caught up with - "

"Doesn't matter. Come here," Tony interrupted, reaching a hand out to Loki. Loki took Tony's offered hand and looked surprised when Tony pulled him into an embrace. If Tony was being honest, he knew that Loki had let himself be pulled, because Tony barely had the strength to feed himself anymore. The angle was awkward until Loki decided to just climb onto the bed with Tony. Tony pulled back a little after a brief moment, cupping Loki's face in his hands, he leaned in and kissed him.

Tony felt Loki tense before he let out a moan, sounding as though he was in pain before he pressed himself even closer to Tony, deepening the kiss. Tony let Loki lead, to take whatever he needed from Tony, because Tony didn't even want to think about what his husband must have gone through over the past couple of months, what he must still be going through right now. So Tony merely hung onto Loki, hands stroking whichever part of him he could reach in an attempt to offer some comfort, no matter how meagre. Eventually, Loki pulled away, question clear in his eyes.

"Now, where did you hide my wedding ring?" Tony asked, still slightly breathless from their kiss.

"Anthony?" Loki's voice was choked, as he tried to hold back his emotions, the hope.

"Hey, darling," Tony smiled, and he could see the moment the dam finally broke. "Don't cry. Please don't cry. You know I have no idea what to do when someone cries," Tony hugged Loki closer to him.

"You remember?"

"Not everything, but enough," Tony answered. He paused for a moment before deciding that Loki needed to know. "Don't ever doubt my love for you, darling. Even before I remembered, I was already falling head over heels for you all over again. I felt like crap after I told you to leave, and when you didn't come back - "

"I wasn't angry at you," Loki was quick to reassure Tony. "I just lost track of time working on the spell that might undo the curse."

"Any luck?" Tony asked, already knowing the answer.

"The spell should work, but it's incomplete. I've been trying to reconstruct it," Loki admitted.

"But you need more time. Time that I might not have?"

Loki nodded reluctantly, sniffling as he tried to stop fresh tears from falling.

"Normally, I'd ask you to explain what's going on, but right now, I don't think I can bring myself to care."

"Tony - "

"I'd rather you be here with me right now, than in the library. I'm not telling you to give up. I know you better than that," Tony said. "Eydis says I might still have a couple more weeks, I'll just be in a coma. And you have my permission to perform the spell or whatever it is you need to do to break this curse, but you can work on that after I'm unconscious. Right now, while I'm still conscious, I want you here with me. I don't think a few hours would make that much of a difference at this point."

Loki was silent, but he nodded once more, giving in.

"And promise me, if I don't make it, you will find a way to counter this curse before you track down whoever it was that cast it." Tony paused, thinking. "It was Amora, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"That bitch," Tony let out a bitter laugh. "Giver her hell for me _after_ you find the counter, promise?"

"I promise."

"Good. I'm glad I remembered our wedding before this damn curse takes me out."

"Don't say that," Loki protested.

"What? Being taken out?" Tony sighed. "Fine, let's not talk about it. So, where's my wedding ring?" Tony repeated his earlier question.

Disentangling his arm from Tony, Loki reached under the collar of his shirt and pulled out a thin gold necklace with two simple golden rings hanging off it. Unclasping the necklace, Loki removed one of the rings and gently slipped it onto Tony's left ring finger, where it belonged.

Tony flexed his fingers, the sight and weight of the ring on his hand was both welcoming and familiar. "Stay with me, darling?"

"Of course, love."

They stayed entwined in each other's embrace, talking through most of the night. It was almost dawn when Tony felt his eyes drifting shut despite his best efforts.

"Go to sleep."

"I'm sorry I can't be around to live that future you have in mind for us."

"Shh... You will be fine. You don't have to apologise. We will do everything we talked about and more," Tony felt Loki's arms around him tightening.

"Loki, tell me you'll be ok, I - "

"Just rest, my love. I'll be right here when you wake up." Loki avoided Tony's question, but Tony let him.

"Promise?"

"Always," Loki replied, sealing his promise with a kiss.

"Love you," Tony managed to whisper before closing his eyes.

The last thing Tony heard before giving in to the darkness was Loki's whispered "I love you, too."

 

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending to this is a bit ambiguous and could be interpreted as character death.


End file.
